Bohemian Ranma
by J-Nettie Spaghetti
Summary: Earth... Fire... Ranma... Queen... pixysticks... by these powers combind, I have made a song parody! Come ye wandering Ranma readers and sing with me a song of anxiety, cross gender confusion and Takahashi mayhem in grand Queen flare!


**MILD SPOILER WARNING:** I guess you could say that there are spoilers…. But aside from new character introductions, the series is pretty self explanatory after the first season. No outcomes or twists are reveled. Really, if you've seen the first two episodes (aka exposition hell) you're in good shape.

And now...

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**Bohemian Ranma**

A parody to Queen's **"Bohemian Rhapsody"**

as sung by Ranma (in an overly dramatic moment of self pity)

and most of the **_Ranma 1/2 _**cast

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_(cue music)_

_Ranma:_ Is this my real wife?

Or a sick fantasy?

Trapped by Tendo's side,

No escape from society.

Look at those thighs

Is there no escape for me?

I'm just a half-boy

_Ryoga and Moose_: (_sadly_) Half-boy…

_Ranma:_ It ain't my cup of tea.

Because I'm baka this

Baka that

Yeah, so I

Said she's fat...

Everywhere that I go

'Seems everyone's engaged to me…

...to me…

(_piano solo_)

Father just conned a man

To this girl, he said I'd wed

'I don't dig 'er, I'll be dead.

Old man, it sucks to be your son

'Cause now you've gone and signed my life away… …again.

Father, OOOOOooooo

See, these boobs ain't gonna fly

If I'm not male again this time tomorrow

I'll beat you

Black and blue

An ' leave yuh in the gutter... (_chuckles sinisterly_)

_(piano solo)_

Too late.

Cold water runs

'Sends shivers down my spine,

'Body's changin' all the time.

Goodbye everybody.

To Jusenkyo!

'Gonna leave this form behind

For a normal youth.

Father! OOOooooo

_Nabikki and Kasumi:_ ...his life sure blows...

_Ranma: _They won't turn me bi!

High time I find the one spring to rule them all!

_(guitar solo, then piano interrupts for next movement)_

_Ryoga:_ I see a little sad excuse-o of a man

_Ranma:_ What's the use

You're like Moose

Will you get a damn ego?

_Soun and Genma:_ Martial arts and fighting!

Battle aura igniting me!

_Ranma:_ Jusenkyo!

_Moose, Genma, Ryoga:_ Jusenkyo?

_Ranma:_ Jusenkyo!

_Moose, Genma, Ryoga:_ Jusenkyo!

_Ranma, Moose, Genma, Ryoga:_ Jusenkyo! Here we go!

(_in harmony_) China ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Hoe? (_Shampoo attacks them_)

_Ranma:_ I'm just a half boy,

Nobody gets me

_Rest of the cast:_ He's just a half boy from a weird family.

Spare him this life of feminintiy

_(piano rift)_

_Ranma: _Sleazy bums. Pointless foes. Where's Jusenkyo?

_Kuno, Ryoga, Moose, Principal Kuno:_ (_out of no where_) Kill Ranma!

_Shampoo, Ukyo, Kodachi:_ No!

We Will not let him go!

_Akane:_ Let him go!

_P-Chan: _--Squeal! Squeal! Squeal!--

_Akane:_ (_to P-Chan_) I will not let you go.

_Ranma: _Let him go! (_gets splashed_)

_Kuno, Happosai:_ Girl Ranma!

_Kuno: _I will not let you go!

_Ranma fem:_ Let me go!

_Happosai:_ Look at those breasts grow!

_Ranma fem: _Let me go!

_Ramiko Takahashi:_ Where did my ratings go?

_Fans: _There the ending goes….. Oh Oh oh oh oh oh...

_(season 7000+ begins)_ No, no no no No No NO! _(pulling out hair)_

_Viz:_ Oh such a drama! Ranma romma!

_Me: _I'll write an op'ra?

_Rest of the cast/fans: _Heaven's no!

_Ranma: _Takahashi has a plot twists put aside for me

_Rest of the Cast:_ For we?

_Ranma and Akane: _For WE!

(_chaotic Ranma 1/2 mayhem during **instrumental solo **as fans elate and Takahashi counts her money_)

_Ranma: _(_fed up and pissed off_) So you think you can splash me and write a hentai?

So they'll cheap' animate me and wave us good-bye?

Oh, Akane

I've become my own cliche!

Just gotta get out,

Just gotta get some new career...

_(instrumental solo as Ranma checks the want ads)_

_Whole Ranma 1/2 Cast:_ (_waving hands and nodding in agreement_)

Oooooooooooooo

Ooooo yeah, Ooooo yeah.

(_Ranma stands alone as music dies down_)

_Ranma:_ Manhood really matters,

'Least it does to me

Though the plot is scattered

Manhood just still matters to me.

_(piano rift)_

_Akane:_ Don't dismay, Anything Goes... (_shrugs_)

_(fin)_

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There you have it! Please review if you have the time or check out my other works by clicking my pen name. If you thought this was good (or far from it) I promise I have other parodies that top it. Battle of the Parodies! Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!


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